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The Significance of Being Nothing

by R. Turner

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1.
I've spent my entire life approaching you in different ways Now I can only think that I could never be saved I've been told you died for me, But if it was for me you died Where is that everlasting peace? O my God, where do you hide? Where do you hide, my love? I've looked in many churches but there was no sign of you I looked behind the pulpit and I looked beneath the pews I grew weary in my searching So I took a look outside Now my heart is asking sorely, "O my God, where do you hide?" Where do you hide, my love? Where do you hide, my love? Have I gone blind? Have I lost my sight? Where do you hide, my love? It's been said the world is ending before we make it to next year Most people don't believe it, but some people live in fear As for me, I couldn't care less, no I won't be picking sides Wherever you snuck off to, well I'd like to hitch a ride Where do you hide, my love? Where do you hide, my love? Have I gone blind? Have I lost my sight? Where do you hide, my love? I've lost the Holy Needle In this filthy haystack Now I've become the prodigal son And The Weight is breaking my back If ever you should hear me with my unsanctified groans I'm sorry for your ears I was just looking for my home Where do you hide, my love? Where do you hide, my love? Have I gone blind? Have I lost my sight? Where do you hide, my love?
2.
Cocoon 03:05
It's reaching the end of october and I am still in the dead of NY My body and mind are unfolding as if my cocoon had been torn But being morose is so far out of style and I am ten years behind I'm sure by the time I learn to be happy Sadness will come back with the change of the times If I ever get out of this city I'll be sure to write you a note Well, it's times like this when I wish I could see you A familiar face in the thick of the snow I've always been a slow learner but I've been learning how to be alone No one ever taught me how to be happy So we'll just have to see how that goes But being morose is so far out of style and I am ten years behind I'm sure by the time I learn to be happy Sadness will come back with the change of the times If I ever get out of this city I'll be sure to write you a note Well, it's times like this when I wish I could see you A familiar face in the thick of the snow If I ever get out of this city I'll be sure to write you a note or something
3.
Hey listen kid, you've got your lemonade stand on the wrong street. Don't nobody walk here except for me, and I don't have any money on me...but, I gotta give you credit for doing something I never had the guts to do. I'm sorry protestors, but you're flaunting your signs on the wrong street. Don't nobody care about equality unless you got some money...but I gotta give you credit for doing something I never had the guts to do. Oh, honest pastors...you're preaching in the wrong century! Don't nobody care about what you gotta say (they think you want their money). But, I gotta give you credit for doing something I never had the guts to do, which is fighting the good fight even when it seems there's no reason to.
4.
In the morning I feel far too sentimental for my own taste My blood begins to run in a slow race As I fall laughing into this glorious mess I've made It's a mess that I love It's a mess I would never ever change I was becoming numb Yes, increasingly complacent in my grave, and though you weren't the one to save me certainly you brighten up my day I do remember you When we were younger Though we were only friends I thought you were beautiful back then Yes, we were only friends We were only friends Yes, we were only friends We were only friends! And I never would have known A friend could make me feel like this I never would have known I would ever want to kiss you on your mouth
5.
Everybody's wandering in a circular sort of motion, and while it may be an assumption (you know, I've got mixed emotions), it seems to me a very meaningless world that we live in...although I'm always confusing my cynical thoughts with wisdom. So I come not as a poet or any sort of writer, not a philosopher or pharisee, no religious terrorizer! No I come as a man with a terrible question in mind: Is every second alive just a miserable waste of our time (though I'm sure all of your answers will truly be a grand waste of mine)? There was once something greater, yes something infinitely powerful, that would take all my hatred and sadness and cowardice and send them off running, desperate to find an escape! Oh, if I could ever be humble and fall into your loving embrace...is it my pride that is blocking my way to your grace?
6.
Stirring the air with your breath, you sigh Floating above the midnight sky And the world is so full of things nobody hears But those who hear them are holding them dear' Your mind is a vacuum for cobwebs and fur So spit it all out and begin to rebuild Your old kind of laugh and your sensitive smile All the things that you lost when you learned how to fight The debris of our city creeps into our shoes A glum inspiration for singing the blues And my friends, they flew south before the first snow Oh where do they go? Where do they go... Our lives are a vapor, some might say a shooting star But one things for certain, and I really don't care who you are You might get really famous or drive a fancy car But even the fanciest can only get you so far... The ghost of a girl drifts along empty halls Her name carved in the steel on the bathroom wall It's buried by words that no one should hear So no one notices her name lingering there So pack up your things and take a long walk We'll train our eyes to see and our mouths to talk And we'll talk and we'll talk to the finest of men Ones that cherish the moment and never sleep in
7.
Peter 02:18
Peter, drop your sword! What are you doing that for? Maybe if you payed attention, then you wouldn't be so bored Peter, follow me Step out to the sea Don't you know it's your fear That's making you sink? Peter, don't be so cocky Cause before the cock crows You'll deny me three times So, I wouldn't be so sure Peter, I'll always love you
8.
Boiling Frog 02:54
You're like a frog Slowly boiling So gradual You don't know you're dying Until you become like a bird From prison bars flown! Into fog With no way home Until you're Totally lost And you become like a worm Split in two You tell yourself One half will do Through the dirt You slowly tread You hide your hurt Until you're dead I am a worm and no man
9.
i've got a chemical imbalance or so i have been told well i never knew deseases could live inside your soul i'd like to use it as an excuse to never leave my bed; to rot away in silence and live inside my head but people have their expectations of what i ought to do though no one thought to ask me if i really wanted to (live or die) well don't i have a right to be silent? don't i have a right to be bored? don't i have a right to feel sadness when the world is so impossibly cold? but then i got to thinking about all the people in the world who never chose their silence and yet needed to be heard o, self pity is a harlot who only asks for time she will make you feel so special as she quickly robs you blind our time, so often wasted on the nothings that we crave while the burning prophets wisdom will be swept into their grave do we have the time to be silent? do we have the time to be bored? do we have the time for self pity when the world is so impossibly cold? i've get a chemical imbalance but i'm not gonna take no pills there's no time for all my moping there's no time to remain still so i will wake up every morning yes, i will choose to stay alive because for every day i'm breathing there's a silence i could find why should i lay here weeping when there's so much to be done? not to bite the hand that feeds you but to teach it how to love can you hear the cry of the silent? can you hear the cry of the bored? can you hear the cry of the oppressor? i say the world doesn't need to be cold
10.
I can never fall asleep At the same time of the night and I'll never get up the same time the next day Sometimes I can never fall asleep And sometimes I can never seem to wake Sometimes I like to see an old couple in love and sometimes I can't bear the sight Most of the time I don't like to argue But sometimes I just need to be right Sometimes I find it hard to believe in a God But I know that he understands And as inconsistent as I tend to be I know he'll never let go of my hand Sometimes I want nothing more than to travel the world But these days, that's been fading away Cause if I spend all my time exploring the mountains I might miss a freckle on your face Out of all these things that I falter so greatly There's one thing I can fearlessly say: "Into this furnace I ask you now to venture, you whom I cannot betray." ~ Leonard Cohen

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© Ricky Turner 2012

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released March 30, 2012

Written and recorded by Ricky Turner
Connor Benincasa - Upright bass
Zeno Pittarelli - Cello, backing vocals, drums
Shaye Jennings - Backing vocals
Dave Rydelnik - Trumpet
Mastered by Zeno Pittarelli

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R. Turner Anacortes, Washington

Making songs, living the dream / Making. dreams, living the song

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